Laura's Playground presents the Transgendered Poetry of Leazebeth.

 

 

Silent Sister
She stands alone on the playground,
Shut out,
Uninvited.
The door is barred
To hopscotch
And jumprope,
By taunts and teases and jabs and jeers
She does not face.
The pants she wears and shirts of colors bare
Betray her,
Block her way.
Her feelings mark her as an easy target.
Boys and girls together join
As they may never again,
To let her know
What she is,
Sissy, Sissy, Sissy.

I will build a fortress of stone, where I will be safe, always alone
I will be tough, I will be strong, a boy to make my parents proud.
And no one will ever know, no one will ever see.
The truth that I know, the truth that I breathe,
There’s a girl who lives inside of me.

Shut off from her sisters,
From their shared secrets,
Their hallway giggles.
Living in hatred and envy
Of their long soft hair
Never perverted
Into a crew cut.
The softness and colors that they wear,
She can only stare
And dream
Of a best friend
To whisper to in the night,
To trust with her heart.

As puberty’s brush paints others
With the blush of womanhood’s bloom
Her body rebels, and forces her into hostile places
Rooms full of boys
Soon to be men.
Overcome by her young woman’s natural desire
Her budding womanhood betrays her again.
A girl’s lust marks her for hate.

Shut off from her sisters,
From shopping sprees
Silly surprises
Staring at boys.
Living her life through the girls she sees,
Dancing and laughing inside the TV.
With models from magazines she has afternoon tea.
Her boyfriends stare from those pages,
Seduce her in the dark.

With no mommy to comb
and braid
and brush
and fuss
The night of the prom,
She must watch as others play her part.

As time passes by
No life fills her womb
No milk fills her breasts.
She lives by herself
In a world all alone,
Shut off from her sisters.

I will build a fortress of stone, where I will be safe, always alone
I will be tough, I will be strong, a Man like no other.
I will make women weak with desire,
I will make men tremble in fear.
And no one will ever know, no one will ever see.
The truth that I know, the truth that I breathe,
There’s a woman who lives, inside of me.

Homecoming

There is a temple, on an island, in an ocean, across a sea
It is waiting, standing barren, filled with vermin and dust of age
a marble throne, guilt with gold, white alabaster lines the silent hall
a diamond studded scepter lies unused, purple robes rot on the ground
bold and brazen serpents slide over statues smoothed by scales
rodents run through carrion stench, bleached bones hide insect lair
spiders weave empires in the sky, they rise and fall as seasons pass
dunes of dust drift across the floor, undisturbed by human feet

who has lived here
who has died
from where did They come
to where did They go

on the beach a fire burns, barely warming a woman there
she squats in the sand, warming meager fare in humble flames
priestess robes, slowly shredding, almost cover her freezing limbs
the royal sun returns, from the sea of clouds, to his ocean grave
eyes on horizon, bare feet in sand, gulls circle above, cries unheard
time passes by unnoticed, salt air unsmelt, food untasted, sleep unslept
tarnished rings burden arthritic hands, ancient rituals fill mind’s places
the fire low but not untended, feeble flames of eternal hope

They are coming
Those who died
now reborn
They are coming
Those who lived here
To reclaim
Their Island Home

Warrior

A warrior’s time has come
And now the dragon flies
Far away into the sun
To bring the fire back to the night

There stands a woman, brave and strong
Where there was once a little boy
Hers arms are made of steel
Her touch as soft as joy

A tear slowly fills her eye
As she recalls
Fallen friends and fallen foes
But a warrior must go on
A warrior must go on

Elizabeth - Self Portrait

A little girl a little boy, they hold hands in the spring
They giggle in secret hiding places, dance in the warm rain
Catch minnows and tadpoles in bent paper cups
Pick bouquets of dandelions, hoard priceless treasures
Safe in their fortress, in the tall meadows grass
Sleeping in each other’s arms, unafraid and unashamed

A mighty warrior, muscles slick with sweat
Astride a beast of battle, a dragon of war
On his face grim determination flourishes
None shall pass
None disturb his sleeping charges
Nor shall they want in any way

A maiden, softer than dreamtime
Beauty to make men weep
Purity unbreached
A touch of such healing kindness
All come to receive
And when given the chance, none of them leave

A simple peasant shoulders his burden for another day
His toils made worthwhile by those in his care
Gladly he suffers daily torment and abuse
His pain unnoticed as he goes on his way
Thanking god for his existence
He sleeps in peace tonight

A mother with her newborn child at breast
Her safety guaranteed, her kitchen full, her hearth warm
Rocks slowly, a lullaby softly escapes her lips
Carried on angel’s wings to her grateful baby
She hears the winter winds outside her door
But knows they can’t come in

A king and a queen, secure on their throne
Wisdom beyond knowledge, compassion beyond love
Fills their hearts as they share the burden of decision
Of steering a course through the choices that come
Tears fall to the floor with each change of path
For the loss of what might have been, and the joy of what will be

A thunderstorm in august, a silent night in spring
A rhino that’s charging, a hummingbird’s wings
The mystery of the ocean depths, the sand upon the beach
Tiny diamonds spreading out, as far as one can see
To count the facets of a single one would take a lifetime
If we pick one up and peer down deep inside
And probe the atom’s depths, looking beyond the eye
We see Elizabeth, inviting us to come,
To be caressed by the dancing waves
And kissed by the laughing sun.