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Butterfly Arrangement

FTM Female to Male Top Surgery

Tony is our newest author and was an FTM Female to Male Transsexual moderator for Laura's Playground. He's the one on the right. Tony has recently had top surgery and is on Testosterone. You can usually find him in the chat rooms.


Editors note: Its great when we find someone like us who are faced with the same problems we have especially if they've found a solution. One of our own FTM moderators, Tony recently had Top surgery done which is breast removal with chest reconstruction. Here in his own words is his account taken from the forums.:

Itís been a while since I have posted much of anything. I apologize for not putting anything in lately. Iíve been busy and a lot has happened. Here is kinda what has been going on:

I have decided to get focused on my pet sitting business. For those of you that arenít sure what that in tales here ya go. My Pet Sitting consists of going to peopleís homes when they are away and taking care of their animals and checking their homes. It takes time and dedication to earn peoples trust. I lucked out in that a former Pet Sitter here in the area where I live is going out of business. I had helped her at one time as my former self so she knows of my transition. She has been most helpful and encouraging towards me. Since she is going out of business she is putting my name out in lieu of hers. Having someone as an advocate for those of us that are transitioning can be a very big deal. Since she has gone out of business I have had a few clients already. This has been keeping me busy.

If this isnít enough, there is more to the story. Since I have become more involved with my business, and I walk dogs as well, I had become very self conscious about certain things. Not like I wasnít before, but now it has become very apparent. I had been thinking of top surgery for quite some time and about 2 months ago I scheduled the date for surgery; it was scheduled for Sept. 1. For the most part I had been excited about the whole thing, I couldnít wait! As the days past I got more and more nervous. The thought of having irreversible surgery was slowly getting to me and unfortunately I was focused on that instead of the outcome that I wanted for such a long time. Itís funny how your mind will play tricks on you when fear is in the air. Side note: For anyone considering top surgery that hasnít gone through the process yet, try and keep in mind the final outcome and not the initial process. It will help you from getting freaked out. Anyway, I got a phone call from the surgeonís office and they need to delay the surgery until the 2nd. My heart sunk and I was slightly disappointed upon hearing the news of the change. I can deal with just one day right? Well, I should have been ok with that, but not me.. I was wound up about it for a while. I did calm down and then deal with it though. My anxiety was slowly catching up to me and all thoughts of this surgery being irreversible were lying heavy on my mind for sure. I tried to put it off and keep my mind occupied on other things, but sure enough, as soon as I tried to quiet down and get some sleep for the night it would start in. If any of you are having trouble with family acceptance you will understand my next comment. Thoughts of my family and how would they take this were running through my head. Whatís hard right now for me is that none of my family members know that I even had been thinking of this surgery. My mom is convinced that this isnít really happening and I will go back to the way I was. No one else is speaking to me so even if I talk to them it will be ďshoving itĒ in their faces. So, I am doing this surgery thing with no one knowing. I still wonder how things will go when they finally do find out. Ought to be interesting for sure!

Anyway, I did finally get my thoughts under control and back on track. Things were looking good and I was getting more calls. By now itís a week before surgery. This is all I can talk about and think about. A friend from England had come to the states to visit and got a chance to squeeze his surgery in while he was here. I believe that was the reason for mine being delayed. I was thrilled for him since he was going to see the surgeon that I was going to as well. I was also kinda envious as well because he was going to have his done before me! The nerve! LOL J/K I really was happy for him. Because of my friend having surgery I got excited even more. I couldnít believe this was happening! I was counting down the days until my big day.

The day before: September 1st should have been an ok day for me, but fear and anxiety got to me. I was thinking am I going through things to fast and yadda yadda yadda, etcetera. I talked to my girlfriend a number of times during the day asking her if she thinks everything will be ok. I was going nuts! I had a chance to talk to Laura from here for a little bit online. Thank you Laura BTW.. You did help me calm down and I liked your chocolate idea! LOL She was a great help even if I had only chatted with her for a short time.

For anyone that knows me knows that I have 8 animals; 4 dogs and 4 cats. Since this surgery was going to have both me and my g/f out of town all day along with a friend that was having the same thing done as well the same day, I tried my best to get the house cleaned up for another friend of ours that was staying with my animals. Needless to say I got no sleep that night. We went to pick up my friend and his mom at 3 am and drove straight to the hospital. His appointment was before mine so I had to wait it out. And of course being in a doctorís office my appointment got delayed again! I couldnít believe it! I was to go in for surgery about 10:30, now they are telling me 11:30, then 11:45. I was getting wigged out with anxiety and now no food because you canít eat anything from midnight on before surgery. If you couldnít tell by now, I really hate waiting! LOL Generally I am a patient person, but when it comes to something like this Iím not. The nurses and staff of the surgeon were really nice and treated me like the guy I am. They used all the right pronouns and made sure I was ok the whole time. It was great! My surgeon BTW is Dr. Medalie, he is personable and a perfectionist; which personally I admire and want in a surgeon. For those of you that are interested here is his web site :

I finally got into the surgery room and it was over before I knew it! They told me I was in surgery for 2 ¼ hrs. I was awake and up in no time. There was one minor complication. The drain tube on my right side did get blocked up and started to back flow from the incision. It wasnít too big of a deal but it looks awful! They got it flowing like it should and were ready to let me go. By this time it was about 6:30 pm and I still hadnít had anything in my stomach so I did get nauseous a few times. They were nice enough to give me some saltines and ginger ale though and it seem to help. We had a long drive home since we were planning on staying in a hotel overnight. I was wide awake though and I had to keep my girlfriend from falling asleep at the wheel. When we finally got home I got to sleep in my own bed. Have to sleep on my back for a while until the drain tubes come out. They do give you pain medication when you leave, even though I only took ¼ of what I could have. The incisions donít really hurt, itís more the drain tubes that are a pain. You have to have the tubes in and wear a compression vest the whole time until you get the tubes out. This also means you canít take a shower! If you need to; (like your not! LOL) you can take a sponge bath. Not the greatest but hey, it will do!

So, this is where I am today as of Sept. 6. I still have the drain tubes in at least until Fri and have to wear a compression vest along with everything.

I will try and keep up with more postings though. If anyone wants to chat with me I will try and make it a point to be there on Tues. and/or Fri. nights here at Lauraís Playground.

I also can be reached on yahoo IM: my ID - wvrofbskts
And MSN:

See ya gang.

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