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Butterfly Arrangement
Chat Room Rules Terms and Conditions of Use

The following rules are to be followed at all times in the chat rooms. You are required to read them before entering the chat rooms and registering. IT is a mandatory requirement for using the chat rooms. This site is for Transgender people and their families and partners only. In addition our mission is to prevent suicides in our crisis rooms. Anyone jepordizing this mission will be banned without warning.

Once you register for the rooms you have agreed that you have read the rules and to abide by these rules without exception, whether you have read them or not. Violations of the rules may result in an eventual ban. These rules are subject to change without notice.

No admirers, predators or cybersex seekers allowed. To enter the chat you must be Transgendered, Transsexual, Crossdresser, Intersex, Androgyne, Neutrois a Significant other or a Family member of a TG. We are a TG support site not a dating site. Information seekers and others should contact Laura. See our list of Admirer and TG dating links .

Use an appropriate name when registering. No sexually explicit or suggestive fetish names are allowed. You may not use body parts or clothing items in your name. Names cannot be stereotypical or mocking to the community, We strongly suggest you use the first name you'd use on the street when dressed as your true self. Your name says a lot about you to others. if you want to be taken seriously calling yourself a man_in_ a _dress, sissy_in_panties or cutiepie isn't going to work. Acceptabilty of User names are up to the sole discretion of the Chat Director. If you registered before October 5th, 2007 your name is acceptable.

You may not call an MTF a man or an FTM a woman or refer to them with improper pronouns. We realize that androgynous names don't always transmit the proper pronouns. Accidents happen. If you are not sure of a person's gender just ask them. Continued use however will not be considered accidental. Do not enter the room by saying "Hi Ladies" or "Hi Guys". Usually both genders are represented in the room. If you don't like being asked what pronouns to use with you consider changing it to a gender specific name.

Bashing of any group or member here will not be tolerated. ALL Transgender groups are welcome here and were invited whether you are a crossdresser, autogynephilliac, transgenderist or a transsexual, an MTF or an FTM, post-op or pre-op. No one expects you to understand all TG groups but you are expected to respect and treat them with courtesy.

There will be no flaming, personal attacks, profanity, name calling or talking against other chatters. ALL opinions here are welcome. If you are strongly against what someone says, you must respect the chatter and disagree within the rules. You may not call them stupid or other names. Above all Agree to disagree. Using stars to mask profanity is still profanity.

PM's or Private messages are for your eyes only. They may not be duplicated in the public chat rooms. However if you are being PM'd inappropriately you may reveal the contents to a staff member in private.

Do not PM anyone without first obtaining their permission in the main room. Staff members may pm you at any time and are exempt from this rule. If you are Private Messaged without permission, by anyone other than a staff member, please inform a Staff Member (They are the non-blue icons) and they will take care of the situation for you. Members may PM any staff member on room business at any time without asking. Thank you. Members may PM any staff member on room business at any time without asking.

The Community Center, Treehouse and Teen rooms are rated PG13. No sexual discussion is allowed in these rooms. All of the other rooms adult TG issues may be discussed wihtin reason. Packies may be discussed in FTM room. Dialation may be discussed in the Post-op room. If you dislike adult situations, language and situations don't enter the sub rooms. There is no cyber sex allowed in any room.

No one under 13 will be admitted to chat for any reason. Users are not allowed to have underage age children viewing the chat rooms. It is not appropriate.

Names may not be altered online without users permission. Only moderators may add "Rcon", "TM" or "Mod" to their names.

Ftm's may not enter an MTF only room. MTF's may not enter the FTM only room. If you are questioning whether or not you are CD or Transsexual you may enter the appropriate rooms until you are sure.

Once a moderator takes a crisis to the crisis room you may not interfere. Only the user in crisis or moderators may enter crisis rooms. Moderator's are certified in youth suicide prevention. They are the only ones allowed to handle our suicide prevention mission.

Be supportive of other users. Do not say that a user in crisis is being dramatic or is faking as this is dangerous in a chat that tries to prevent suicides. We encourage our users to open up to us and talk about their issues and problems. This is not complaining. Users may not decide if another users issue is frivolous or not or their problems to numerous.

Illegal activities or discussions are not allowed here. No hormone dose recommendations are allowed. Prescription drugs should only be prescribed by a Doctor. To do otherwise is dangerous and illegal. Many Internet prescriptions are fake and have caused many deaths. Links to such sites may not be referred to here. It is fine to discuss hormones and their effects on transgender persons. For hormone information go here. Herbal hormones are not 100% safe with all prescription drug medicines for every person. Certain sites recommend mega-doses for transgender people which is very dangerous not to mention that they are not FDA approved. Some members here have had strokes and heart attacks on certain herbal medicines. Their use may not be recommended or advertised here.

You may not under any conditions solicit personal Information from teens aged 0 to 17. Sexual Predators will be prosecuted and personal information will be turned over to authorities. We highly recommend that all users keep their contact information to themselves.

No advertising in Chat is allowed. NO soliciting. However if you have an informative link pertinent to your conversation please feel free to post it. If you have a site and want a link posted to it here contact Laura.

No chaos or disruptions to chat will be tolerated. If the disruption becomes out of control from 2 or more users a supervisor may at their discretion, temporarily close the room affected. Crisis rooms will always remain open. Moderators must keep the rooms ready for multiple crisis's. Disruptions make that difficult.

No discussions of Religion and Politics except how it pertains to Transgender issues. Nothing causes more flame wars more than the topics of religion and politics. No we are not banning the topics but please discuss them ONLY as how they pertain to our transgendered community. There are plenty of other sites to discuss which politicians you hate. We don't need that here. Neither do we need to hear about fire and brimstone.

Use the siren sound only in an emergency. The Train sound has a very specific purpose. It is used to alert the moderator and supervisors in an emergency or to page one. Supervisors on call respond to this sound. If you use it please make sure the reason is important. Some reasons are a suicidal person in the room, sexual messages being sent by predators to you in PM, or the presence of an admirer. Otherwise please refrain from using it if you do you will receive a warning or be silenced.

Do Not PM someone without permission. Moderators, supervisors or the chat director may pm you at any time and are exempt from this rule.

DO NOT advertise other chat sites in Lauras Playground chat room. Inside the chat rooms NO LINK may be used to advertise other chats. Those doing so will be permanantly banned. This includes both parties.

Moderators (red) have the same authority as me and are MY Direct Representatives. Users are expected to show the same respect you would show me. They are only following my Policies. Disrespect or ignoring a moderator may result in being kicked or banned. So please don't blame them for enforcing the rules as they did not write them. If you feel you were unjustly banned or reprimanded write to the chat director. Bear in mind that we receive daily transcripts of all chat sessions. Moderators are here to protect you. They have a tough job. Please make it easy on them. Without Mods and rules our chat would be resemble a bar room brawl. Our chat is different and the mods are responsible for keeping it that way. Show them some appreciation.

Moderators supervisors and the chat director must treat all users with respect and listen to their issues as well as try to resolve problems. They must enforce the room rules and keep order at all times. Run support meetings. Be knowledgeable about trans issues. Intervene for users in crisis. They must take the youth suicide prevention course and become certified in addition to on site crisis training. Take the RConn which is a crisis dispatch position. Moderators must be 21 or older.

Moderators can only ban by taking the following steps in order. 1) talking to the user to resolve conflicts. 2) Silencing the user up to a maximum of 5 minutes. 3) Kicking. 4) Warn of a 3 day ban. 5) Ban the user.

The first ban is for a trans person is 3 days. A second ban is 30 days. A Third ban may be permanent. Non trans person, predator or admirer ban is permanent automatically.

Supervisors (green) are to backup the moderators especially in suicde crisis situations. At least one must be on call at all times. They must have experience in handling suicide attempts. While the moderators run the room a supervisor may provide assistance or mod themselves. They are often on ghost mode and are invisible. They may not chat in ghost mode unless it is an emergency which materializes as a system message. They must always materialize to chat with users.

Mentors (gold) are teen leaders and must be at least 18 years of age. Their primary purpose is to help new and younger teen users similar to a big brother or sister. They are selected by a commitee of 3 supervisors and go through extensive interviews. They go through a mentor training program. Mentors can silence or kick but not ban.

Chat Director (Stu) runs all aspects of the chat room and is in charge of the supervisors and moderators. He is the final authority on the name issue. If you have issues with anyone please contact Stu. His job is the toughest because he walks a tightrope between users, moderators supervisors and Laura.

The language of the Chat rooms is English though we welcome all countries. Most of the staff is not trained in other languages.

Discussion of guns and their effects are strictly prohibited.

This is a support site and all users are expected to be supportive,


The chat rooms here are part of the Transgendered community of which everyone here is a part. They are not all the same and opinions differ. Many issues here are emotional and there are many areas of disagreement. Without respect and courtesy for everyone this support chat would become too unpleasant to support each other. The success of this chat is up to each and everyone of you. Please follow the rules. Remember that moderators, supervisors and Stu our chat director are all volunteers who put in long hours just to support you our users.

Auditorium Event Rules

The Auditorium is for large gatherings for events with guest speakers. The rules are different. Only two people may speak in the auditorium, the moderator and the speaker. If the speaker is taking questions afterwards the moderator will contact each member by private message and ask the question for you. The moderator will go down the name in alphabetical order either forward or backward. Most speakers can only donate an hour of their time. If time permits the list would be repeated. Remember if the room is orderly then the speaker is likley to come back again. Please be patient the moderator will be very busy during one of these sessions.

Laura Amato,



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