Robin Silk

do i need to label myself?

12 posts in this topic

hi all i have gone thru 6mos with a TG, i have been in a TG support group for 4mos, i have been attending lgbt meetings for 4mos. not alot of time but have found that alot of these people want to know how i identify myself. i describe myself as transgender...which is a pretty wide range of people. as people ask for a further description i add that the way i have felt for the last 30 years is i have the feelings and emotions of a female and in a perfect world would present as female but would keep my male parts. heres where others start to question the validity of my story and wish to compartmentalize and label me as anything from a crossdresser to a crossdresser. my 1st therapist thought i had autogynephylia (not a GT) my current GT has been gently urging me to start HRT and go full time. i am happy now with living parttime as female and do not wish to lose function of my male parts. i have been feeling a subtle pressure to go further than i want to go and will not be persuaded to do so though it seems tempting at the time. i would like to obtain help from the medical community and insurance, but am finding they are wanting to help people on the path to full transitionand maybe not so much others in the TG community. just talking it out i have been feeling this way for about 2 mos. anyone have a similar experience i would love to hear about it. just want to be me Robin

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Robin, I am transgender and have all my male parts. I'm not going to have surgery or take hormones. I said that you identify as transgender and should be good enough. I dress practically all the time and am perceived as a woman. Many transgender women, for various reasons, elect not to change any of their anatomy. Labels aren't that important. Just because one doesn't have HRT does not mean that they are not transgender. They are!

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Hi Robin,

Transgender is a groovy label, and we both fit nicely under that umbrella. As you know, I am kinda a bit different being an intersex transsexual woman, but the important part is being ourselves. I used to tuck my genitals in the bathtub when I was a kid in order to look as I thought that I should look, I still do that at times, and will continue to do so until I have GCS. You are different, but that is fine. We are both transgender.

By the way, that was groovy meeting you at my birthday party, far out! :)

hugs,

Stephanie

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I was full time well before i took any hormones. At the time i also felt the pressure you describe when i would attend a support group. That was one reason i never became as involved there as i might have been. In time i did start HRT and had some surgery so for the most part my remaining male anatomy is simply a convince when i relieve myself working outside on the farm. For me this has been the right path and i have found peace with myself at this time. Who knows what the future will bring. Perhaps the most important thing is finding peace with ourselves and our gender. That is certainly much more important than what we have done to our bodies or how we or others label us.

Hugs,

Charlize

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Hi,

Depends on what flock of birds you hang out with . i,m with the female flock born in to as well just for the facts department i,m an intersexed female ,so if any one needs to know say Ambo,s Dr,s GP,s or the like then they know what im about no male or female organs and what meds i take, and corrective surgerys ,

as for friends or others just a female and my history is well known , other wise no one really cares = what I mean is they do, just its not a matter of having to bring it up they see a female and that's it ,

...noeleena...

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Hi Robin

I too have all my male parts and an not taking hormones but do spend a substantial amount of time as a woman these days. Probably about 95% outside of work and very feminine even at work. I am progressing at my own steady rate and, at least at the moment, do not plan on escalating things. Inwardly I do have the fear that if I went to see a professional I may either be pushed forward or held back, but as I see (and feel) it at the moment I am happy. I like my body and it works so I am loth to mess with it. It's my mind which tells me I am a woman and it is powerful enough to overcome what are really pysical disfigurements to that vision.

So to labels! Here I regard myself as androgyne which I think is nearest to what I am. Non binary fits well too and transgender would be Ok. These terms are useful in that to some extent they help us understand each other. I have looked at profiles and what people post though and seen they are not to be taken too literally. I think in the general population many people are even less familiar with them so such labels are not useful. The way I look at it these days is that when I am out as male I am a man and when out as female I am a woman. I have the fallback (in case of bathroom issues, luckily not encountered) that I am transexual. I also use that, especially when visiting clients with work who ask about my looks. I occasionally mention androgyne but that term is less known and usually only applied to feminine looking male teenagers and so I find tends to confuse people. As such I just go more with transexual as people are more familiar. To re-iterate when I am dressed as a woman I am a woman and (hopefully :) ) always look and behave like one. It is perhaps only when I am dressed as a man where confusion occurs because I still look and behave feminine.

The label is for others not yourself so when it comes to the crunch I tend to be very vague. I have wondered about being a crossdresser but have so many other female traits that I would think would be unusual for that to be true. People like to compartmentalize others. Don't be pushed.

Tracy

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While we may have our differences, so does everyone. You do not "need" a label, but they can help others understand you and perhaps better threat you like you want to be treated. There's no right or wrong answer, either. When somebody wrongly identifies you, it's okay to correct them.

Currently, I'm androgynous but that's because I have been slowly evolving my appearance from one to another. I simply identify as Transgender. That is a broad term and there are many differences under this umbrella, but there will always be others like us. There's nothing you should give up or change unless it makes you happy. Your heart has its way of knowing what it wants before you do, so follow your heart and you'll be the best version of yourself you can be.

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Some labels, especially here are meant to be helpful enough to dispel any confusion. The term Transgender is an Umbrella term that tales a few other groups into : Crossdressers, androgens, "Some" Intersexed( by their own terms). Transgenderists and Transsexualls. NONE of these terms are derogatory and are in fact used by Gender therapists. We take everyone here under the term transgender and their spouses , partners and friends. An MTF Trannssexual Tansitions to become a woman, grows breasts changes their name legally and sometimes has Facial Feminization surgery as well as GRS which means their male parts are made into a Female Vagina.

A transgenderists has a similarity or two such as growing breasts, becoming feminine as well as sometimes having FFS. The biggest difference.is that a Transgenderist WILL NOT ever have her genitals removed unless she convinces herself that she is Transsexual. No one does this on purpose. I get very few letters of dissatisfaction from Transsexuals. However I get a ton of letters from transgenderists and even a few crossdressers who grew breasts and now want them gone. A few had grs to their regret. While the Soc has backed off from therapists in the new SOC A gender therapist could make a difference in such a life altering decision. Some Transsexuals cannot go through with GRS due to serious medical conditions that counteract surgery. this sometimes causes suicides.These people are still Transsexuals.

Also Transgenderists would not be comfortable using the term when asking from help even on transgender sites a couple of years ago. That won't happen here. All are welcome. The term is therapeutic and meant to help you to understand yourselves.. Despite the problems there are many happy transgenderists and who says you have to tell any one but your shrink. Most of the public couldn't tell you apart anyway. We are all born with the tendencies to be who we are We are good people. Above all we have the right to be ourselves. There is an irony that Transsexual suicide rates mostly go down after surgery while transgenderists rate goes up. The correct diagnosis is importan for you. The terms aren't meant to ostracize but help you make your own decision with all the facts. Remember a PHD Gender therapist came up with the terms.

Laura

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To your original statement about being asked in support groups how you identify, I find that so intrusive. Of the three support groups I attend no one has every asked me what or who I am. Thats kind of like a cis-person asking if you've had surgery. It's no one's business but your own. If you're being held up to a transgender yardstick, I would suggest finding a different group for support. You can define yourself any way your heart desires.

Jani

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I personally think the importance of the "labels" comes into play when one is interacting with others, especially new acquaintances. Using labels you can give people insight as to who you are, what type person you are, and where your interests are.

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I get letter from people all the time who had GRS, hormones and some crossdressers who grew breasts on their own. Who weren't really transsexual and they'll tell you that after they ask how to get rid of what they have after GRS. No one here is qualified to diagnose anyone on this site. That's a gender therapists job. However we are here to provide transgender information. So it is important we put everything our there.. I get thousands of letters a week. If one or two is dissatisfied and seeks reversal that's one thing. If its more than a hundred since 2004 (as it is) then it should be put out there so those in doubt have choices. No transgender person in ANY GROUP should have any shame in here.. Most have had emotional trauma since they were little. Is it any wonder that not everyone is 100% sure? We were born the way we are. Some started early and some late. We aren't just here for suicide prevention we are here to help people making permanent life altering procedures. Not laying down all the options would be irresponsible. Every group under the transgender umbrella is different from the others and the get along just fine. Transsexuals write to me less After GRS with regrets. Never the less some have them.

In Iran transsexualism is State sponsored. It is the only middle Eastern country to do so. They don't sponsor Gays though. They give them the choice of becoming a women or being executed. Some choice! No one is putting down any group here. Should support groups ask your status? It depends are they trying to help or just nosy?. Our job is to make you think. We want you all to be happy.

Laura

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Just reread this thread after my initial post 10mos ago. I am still feeling the same way in regards to identity. I tried hormones for a short time and was uncomfortable with the sexual dysfunction. My goal is to present as a female as best I can with a minimum of medical intervention. I am doing hair removal and am considering breast and ffs surgeries. Since I am 60 now I wonder how productive major changes will be considering dysphoria is not a major issue.  

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