Guest apostate79

5 lies I told myself before deciding to transition...

20 posts in this topic

I came across this video a while ago and I found myself able to relate to a lot of what she says.

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This is a very good video, hon. Thank you for posting it. Those five questions come up again and again in the forums, and its nice to have them explored clearly by someone who has been there.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

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Best post ever, into the typical questions a transgender or transsexual person has. It certainly educated me some.

Kudos,

Lucia

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Those five questions come up again and again in the forums, and its nice to have them explored clearly by someone who has been there.

It seems to me like typical self justification to explain away concerns. That it is far from being from someone who has been there but more from someone in the stage of searching and justifying.

A perfectly typical example of how trans folk covince themselves what they are doing using information from other folks who haven't really be there.

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I would say that's a fantastic video, and I have to say I have muddled my way through every one of those questions over time. Some have taken me many years to answer.I only got real clarification on one through my therapist probably back in session two or three.

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excellent video... in fact that list should be put in text and stickied. This is good stuff, those are definitely some questions I had... no doubt about it

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Those five questions come up again and again in the forums, and its nice to have them explored clearly by someone who has been there.

It seems to me like typical self justification to explain away concerns. That it is far from being from someone who has been there but more from someone in the stage of searching and justifying.

A perfectly typical example of how trans folk covince themselves what they are doing using information from other folks who haven't really be there.

I am sure these questions come up a lot in GT sessions as well (they did in mine, except for the sexual orientation thing was never an issue and I was still diagnosed with GID). Of course they are not true for everyone but obviously a lot of us have these fears in common.

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I am able to relate to a few of those thoughts myself, very nice video. Especially 2 of them.

I havent always felt like a transexual I started to feel that I maybe was around 25-26. And I like women, sure there are a few guys that feel sexually attracted to

but mostly I like women.

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I agree with some of what she's said, but it is a very dangerous video.

Two of her thoughts when put together are a bad combo.

1) Of course only an individual can tell if they're Trans BUT in her opinion, if you are thinking about it, you are.

2) If you are, you owe it to yourself to try transitioning.

Therefore without actually saying it, she believes if you think you are, you prob should give transitioning a try. Why the heck not?

Am I the only one who could see things going the wrong way?

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Therefore without actually saying it, she believes if you think you are, you prob should give transitioning a try. Why the heck not?

Am I the only one who could see things going the wrong way?

Yes, it can be interpreted that way, but people will often interpret things in a way that validates their own beliefs. She could have been more clear about the appropriate path to take, and the inherent dangers of HRT, but given the nature of the video, I still think it serves a good purpose. There are plenty of other vids that mention therapy and the dangers of HRT. Her video wasn't meant to be all-inclusive.

Carolyn Marie

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Her video isn't medical or official advice. Nevertheless her musings cover some of thoughts I have dealt with from my former OTR experience( because of my limited official eduction at the time. OTR was the only way to make 45k a year at 21yo.) The career path from OTR to my current government/operations employment.

I had a difficult time wrapping my head around whether that was feminine. I am in the end the only woman in my department. My building has dual bathrooms, I set up my locker in the ladies room from day one, that was never a problem.

My therapist looked at me like I was daft for futzing over my past jobs.

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It's not just what she doesn't say, but what she does.

She starts the video saying others will say "Only you can know. Nobody can tell you. And that's certainly true to a certain extent..." You'll know to a 'certain extent', but she'll give you life advice w/out knowing a single thing about your individual case. Her advice is universal.

And what a vague vid. If you just started having these feelings, it's ok! What feelings? Maybe the feelings of a CD who gets turned on wearing women's clothes, acts masculine most of the time and is attracted to women, but is just confused? They meet 1-4 of her questions and so what does 5 tell them? Transition!!! You owe it to yourself, CD! What if there isn't a Therapist in the area, but now they have this sense of fear and urgency? What kind of risky behavior do you think they might engage in? And not just from this vid but from a dozen like it and a 1000 posts.

Again, you could be CD and have some of the same questions, but this expert has stated that most likely if you wonder if you could be TS, you are TS. Get to transitioning! And if you get swept up in the moment like some who have regrets like the woman who posted on the post-op board, who's fault is it? It isn't the community's because they do not push transition!

A short vid she could have made...if you have questions, or are depressed, find a professional you can talk to.

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A short vid she could have made...if you have questions, or are depressed, find a professional you can talk to.

I disagree. I am sure she believes this truely for herself and she is of course free to express her beliefs. This is no different than many other examples on a daily basis of self justification and rationalization. It means nothing other than how she has convinced herself.

I normally wouldn't bother commenting on such as it is so much the norm, but with some discussions in other topics about evolution in the community and the rather short memory, to me this provided a perfect example. Not just the video, but the way it automatically is accepted as valid justification.

Take someone who is CD that fantasizes about being woman full time. Such person finds a rationale to explain away all the things that would cause questions about them being transsexual, and then this person makes a blog, posts videos and such describing their experiences and talking about how great it has been since they decided to "transition". Other CD oriented folks see it and see it applies to them, hear how great "transition" is, starts to think about it for themselves and if they do, they start parroting the same justifications. It doesn't matter that the first person, hadn't actually finished transitioning or not, it is accepted. Next you know, the types of experiences CD have and feel become accepted basis for "transitioning". Now I don't know that there is anything necessarily bad about CD who "transition".

The vid is yet another example of how things have gotten into this "transition or not transition" contextual framework. But again that is so commonplace it is hardly worth noting. I do wonder where are all the people seeking treatment have gone? Is it now reduced to just some lifestyle decision?

I am sure these questions come up a lot in GT sessions as well (they did in mine, except for the sexual orientation thing was never an issue and I was still diagnosed with GID). Of course they are not true for everyone but obviously a lot of us have these fears in common.

I have no doubt at all such questions come up and again sure it doesn't prevent diagnosis. What is value is discussion about such in therapy and it is always best done when one can express what they feel abstractly rather than all this outside information.

At a meeting once I remember an instance where someone was asked a question and was struggling for an answer when someone else jumped in and said "maybe she just feels blah blah blah". The person immediatly grasped on that lifeline. The point is that the person didn't know and how they answered for themself would have provided some insight, but having been furnished an answer from a third person, her parroting the furnished answer it was impossible to find out what she was going to say for herself.

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I can't get it to play correctly after trying to listen to it in bits until it finally came to the end. Pressed play again and it did the same thing. Anyone want to share what the five things were? Jody

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Oh no I watched the video, and I drank the water......

I tried it and I liked it, and it seemed to feed on it's self....therefore It must be for me.

I owed it to myself to at least try, just like the video says, I ended my denial, oh no, now what, I'm a woman, and I really did need to change my sex after all (almost complete)

Seemed like a self fulfilling prophecy :)

Hindsight is so perfect now....

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Cyndi you pulled this rabbit out of your hat on the day before I leave for surgery!

Amazing the clip Plays fine on my dumb blonde app smart phone, the last day I can ever question this and turn back? What a GodShot! Sound the alarm!!!

OK I'm cancelling the flight and taking the cash to by a manly truck or maybe an old Harley!...

... Oh HELL NO!!! LOL! I'm taking this ride to the end of my life however long or short. The one thing I will actually finish and never loose interest in. I have found a new freedom and a new happiness, I will sing it from the heavens, loud and strong! The prices I pay are far above rubies, yet more precious than gold! My joy will continue to flow if for nothing more than to whizz people off! Not really, I'm not vindictive like that. Giggle.

It's really not all that cut and dried. I am still on my journey, I will still, question, learn and grow. Some male in me will still filter back in my life, I can peacefully allow that to happen.

My summation is like my favorite line in the movie TransAmerica, " It's like someone put you in a blender, you're still the same, but you just got rid of all the boy pult!" EUREKA! That's me!!!

Thank you Cyndi I love you, your timing is fabulously perfect! Well I'm off to the airport to do my twenty four hour check-in. This will be a wild weekend on the vacation of my lifetime! Hug. JodyAnn

(Now about that Harley,,, make mine a Chrome, pink and grey Sportster! Giggle.)

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My heavens, this was originally posted two weeks before I got the fateful phone call telling me that my surgery date had been advanced three months, and would be just 9 weeks in my future then. Some of us I guess can live on the edge, and even jump off it without being pushed as far as transition goes. I do not see where I took part in this conversation then, how did I miss it?

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I thought the video was great advice, and still relevant. Also timely, tomorrow I finally get my endo appt. Thanks Cyndi.

Jody, safe travels and a speedy recovery to ya.

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I thought the video was great advice, and still relevant. Also timely, tomorrow I finally get my endo appt. Thanks Cyndi.

Jody, safe travels and a speedy recovery to ya.

Thanks Kiddo! Boarding passes in hand! When I'm done, I will do cartwheels and the splits! Well... After I heal up. Giggle. Hug. JodyAnn

I thought the video was great advice, and still relevant. Also timely, tomorrow I finally get my endo appt. Thanks Cyndi.

Jody, safe travels and a speedy recovery to ya.

Thanks Kiddo! Boarding passes in hand! When I'm done, I will do cartwheels and the splits! Well... After I heal up. Giggle. Hug. JodyAnn

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Wow. Quite a bit of what she mentioned, I've thought about before. This video really helped me. Thank you~

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