Connection Eating Disorder & Transgenderism? Options

[AlexanderG]

Not sure, maybe this's been discussed before/elsewhere, if so sorry...

I have had an ED for... 4 years counting now. Wonder how much, if anything, it has to do with my discomfort over my female body. My main 'thinspirations' are males, as well (even based my forum-name on one of them).

How do you feel your eating disorder & your transgenderism connect, if at all?

Thnx

[kaydinface]

I think my eating problems connect a lot with me being trans. I've never acctually been overweight but the way I feel about my body has come across as being 'fat'. I've looked at thinspiration pictures of males and females-which only made me feel worse- and dealt with EDs since I was ten when puberty started. Recently I've been trying to eat a bit more because I'm afraid of stunting my growth but I haven't looked in the mirror for a while now. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/mellow.gif)

[Nigh]

I think there might be some correlation between the two- personally I've had an eating disorder for the last six years- was never close to being fat to begin with though. I tried counseling for a year when it first started in 9th grade, but I sort of stopped after that, since I realized it was something that would never completely go away, just lessen.

One of the main misunderstandings with eating disorders, by that I mean anorexia nervosa, is that people, for the most part, believe it's only caused by dissatisfaction with the person’s body. While that is true to some extent, it usually only comes in second on the list of main reasons behind anorexia- the first being an extreme lack of control in the afflicted persons life. A transgendered person would defiantly fall into both the first and second main causes- with the person feeling as if they were unable to control anything about their own body besides weight.

[AlexanderG]

One of the main misunderstandings with eating disorders, by that I mean anorexia nervosa, is that people, for the most part, believe it's only caused by dissatisfaction with the person’s body.

Why do you just mean anorexia? The same goes for bulimia don't it. Only THEN you don't have control over what you eat, either.

I dunno how much it's about control for me. Still telling myself I just wanna be a skinny person. Preferably male skinny person. Oh to get rid of my menstruation, breasts, and tummyfat.

Good point though. Someday i'll try recovery (when either I reach my GW or go down), maybe then I'll find out.

[Nigh]

Why do you just mean anorexia? The same goes for bulimia don't it. Only THEN you don't have control over what you eat, either.

My brain must've just stopped working for a second; I meant binge-eating disorder and other related ones usually aren't about control, unless they are, I'm just assuming really.

I dunno how much it's about control for me. Still telling myself I just wanna be a skinny person. Preferably male skinny person. Oh to get rid of my menstruation, breasts, and tummyfat.

Good point though. Someday i'll try recovery (when either I reach my GW or go down), maybe then I'll find out.

Good luck with that; I hope that you find peace of mind and happiness when you reach your goal, I truly do. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)

[Sally]

My eating disorder is over eating and it is due largely to my being trans - I never felt any real connection to my body so I really didn't care what happened to it - now that I have begun to transition I am fighting the battle of the bulge and habits for so many years.

All you can eat wasn't just a sign - it was a challenge!

I am cutting back and eating less fat but it is so hard.

Love ya,
Sally

[Guest_TB_*]

My eating disorder is over eating and it is due largely to my being trans - I never felt any real connection to my body so I really didn't care what happened to it - now that I have begun to transition I am fighting the battle of the bulge and habits for so many years.

All you can eat wasn't just a sign - it was a challenge!

I am cutting back and eating less fat but it is so hard.

Love ya,
Sally

How did you manage to find control? I sort of have fallen into that route over the last year for pretty much the same reason, but now that I'm transitioning, I'm trying to keep it under control and start losing weight, but can't seem to find the strength(?). I haven't done any real damage yet, but i want a healthier body internally before it begins to be bad externally.

any help/tips would be appreciated.

[AlexanderG]

Thnx Nigh

Hm I might am going to (is that correct grammar? no, but you get it right?) find out about this connection. Today I had a general intake with a psychologist about stuff and my eating disorder was the thing he got stuck on (though I said beforehadn that was no the thing I wanted to focus on, but well) & I added gender confusion to the mix. Next week's a follow-up and so I'll be examining both of these things in myself. Who knows what'll come of it.

[scooby]

i think there could be a connection!
ive been bulemic most of my life-
ive ranged from starving myself-to being really overweight-
ive starved myself untill im thin cos i dont like looking f-if youre really skiny you have less curves-
ive made myself horribly overweight so that men dont fancy me!
since transisioning and dont have to try and be a girl-the problem has gone away-
i was bulmemic for 30 years-now its gone!
scooby

[AlexanderG]

Scooby, that is great hope-giving news!

I've had a sort of breakthrough in thinking about this as well, but I need to structuralize my thoughts before I can write them down.

[scooby]

thankyou Alexander-
its good to hear that you sound like youve had a breakthrough aswell[smile]
scooby

[AlexanderG]

To make the connection...

1) thin girls often have smaller breasts. If you lose enough weight, your breast-size reduces too. Unless you're particularly unlucky. Before I realized I still want to be a boy I did envy thin girls partly because of this.
2) the shape of my hips and thighs is on of the things I've always hated. I want my legs to be straigher, youknowwhatImean? This can mean that a) I'm too fat or (IMG:style_emoticons/default/cool.gif) I'm a typical whiny women or c) I want legs like my male rolemodels, which are just differently shaped from women's legs (is this true? think girls have straight legs, too).
3) I've neglected my body for years, starting somewhere at the start of my puberty. Hid it in baggy clothes. Was uncomfortable, felt overweight - but for the longest time didn't care enough to change it. Then my counsellor said, well - maybe you were expressly ignoring body because your body didn't feel right.
4) when I started getting in shape & losing weight I did so inspired by a particular soccer player; I saw the Championships, fell in love with the game, and loved how fit and good the guy looked (and how passionate he was). I decided I wanted to play soccer when I'd go to college the following year, started running disciplined like crap, and dieting. I even set my goal BMI according to his... & enjoyed people calling his name after me cuz I wore a shirt of his. Even tremembering it I want to go out running again... anyway, the rest is history.
My current main thinspo is also a man (and how goooorgeous an example...)

My counsellor even suggested one might be punishing themselves for not being 'normal.' I'm not sure about that, though. I can imagine my purposefully not paying attention to my body (except for the occasional bah I'm fat!), then developing an eating disorder.

~

Right now my thought:

I want to get thin so that my breasts will shrink so I can have the keyhole surgery instead of the double incision one...

But I also want to stop this... bad behavior, and have more energy, and be able to go running again, maybe play soccer again (but in what team then?).
Agh. It's too late to think... gheghe

I just really hope that I'll on day be ED free again.

[Larson]

I think there's definitely a connection.

I agree with all you said, Alexander, about wanting to be thin to have smaller breasts, hips, legs. The male side of me wants to be thin to get rid of anything that looks female and the female side of me wants to be thin to look like all the models. Also, I was involved in dance, film and theatre for my whole childhood --- everyone in those areas are bone thin and all have eating disorders...being naturally thin, but also naturally having slightly larger breasts was torture. I'm so small shouldered that my 34Bs look huge. I hate it! I just want to be thin so I can look more like a guy. It's beyond frustrating.

[parkerkennith]

its the same for me...
i've had my ED for 5 years & i remember before i had come out as transgender [ftm]
i had a couple chick friends who i'd talk about ana stuff with...
their ideal body was always slim waist, nice boobs, nice butt, & like... very "perfect" femaley
they wanted to attract the boys & look like da chick from transformers or something, ya kno?
but i always wanted everything gone.
i wanted to be straight like a line, like a boy :/
no donkey, no boobs, no hips, no curves.
my friends thought i wuz weird _._ lol
when really it makes perfect sense...
extremely thin girls bodys look very simular to extremely thin boys bodys...

i just wasnt aware untill now actually how many other guys like me there were (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ohmy.gif)

[AlexanderG]

I've 'met' girls, online, who also want their breasts to be gone, but that's because they feel breasts signify fat. I've tried to think of a possible explanation for it to be the other way around (i.e. the eating disorder triggers (fake) transgenderism), but it doens't work. None of those girls, even though they 'hate' their breasts, want to actually be boys.

Seeing my counsellor tomorrow, gonna ask him what he thinks.

'nother qustion then (in general):
do you think, if you transition, the ED will go - or will you merely become an ED'd boy iso girl (talking physically here, cuz in your mind you already are a boy)