your Transfolk questions to Miss Laura
Welcome to Miss Laura's TransTerrific Advice Column
Dear Miss Laura,
My daughter is 9-1/2 years old and has always identified as a male.
As she grew older, my husband and I thought she just wanted to be
like a boy, but she has made it very clear over and over again that
she wants to be a boy. She tells me that in her heart and in her
head she is a boy but she was born into a girls body. We only shop
in the boys section for clothes and recently I gave in and let her
have a boys hair cut. All strangers just assume she is my son. My
husband and I have stop correcting people and our daughter Tifanny
now goes by the gender neutral nickname- TJ.
Dear Loving Parent,
Believe it or not you are doing what every
transsexual person wishes his parents had done for them. I'm sure
this is tough for you.
By delaying his development you are leaving
the ball in his court. You've given him a great gift in letting the
choice be his/hers. The worst thing you could do is make the choice
for him and you are not doing that.
One of the unifying trends with transsexuals
is that almost all report that their first memories were of being
the opposite gender, usually about the age of five. Unfortunatley,
that feeling almost never goes away.
While he may be to young to understand
the word transgendered he certainly knows the meaning. So, no, he's
not to young. He's already known for some time.
Its good that he is on medication for depression.
Just be sure to monitor him for any side effects. Teenagers on anti-depressants
can require closer monitoring. I doubt he'll ever hate you as you
are leaving the decision up to him when he's better able to handle
it. The hormone stoppers are a great idea.
I do hope you realize that this is no ones
fault, especially not yours. It is something that we are born with.
No female to male (FTM) transsexual could ask more of their parents
than you are already doing.
Miss Laura is not a Mental Health Professional. Advice is given from years of experience as a Transsexual. If you have a problem with gender or other mental health issues you should see a Gender or Mental Health Professional.