My father recently informed me that he enjoys cross dressing. He
began a few years ago but has only now felt comfortable enough to
share with my mother and sister. I'm not sure exactly what I'm looking
for by writing you. I guess just someone to understand. My dad began
cross dressing at 70+ years of age so you can imagine the shock.
My sister is handling it well, she's had a couple of weeks to get
use to the idea, I've only know for a day. My mom worries me. I've
not had a chance to discuss it with her, but I'm afraid she will
take it personal. My dad is still my dad and I love him no matter
what. Anyway, I thought you would understand and have probably had
letters like this before. I want to understand and be able to help
my mom deal. Thanks for listening.
I know its a shock. Many older men start dressing later in life.
Its really quite common. In most cases they dressed as children
or teenagers, grew out of it and supressed this side of themselves
for many years until family obligations were completed. I might
add its very difficult not to express this is someone is a crossdresser.
Most people are a blend of masculine and feminine on some scale.
The crossdresser is merely expressing a feminine side of themselves
that's always been with them. While no one objects to a woman wearing
male cloths it is unfortunatly not accepted for men to express the
feminine side in any way.
The good news is that your father probably does not wish to be
a woman. He's all man. Crossdressers also are usually not gay, but
hetrosexual, so his dressing is really not a reflection on your
Dressing relieves stress for most CD's.
Some researchers point out that a man's testosterone level at the
age of 55 is very low and Estogen levels are higher then most menopausal
women. This may make it easier for him to express this side at such
a late age.
Normally crossdressing isn't a serious problem as long as the CD
has some private time to dress. Believe it or not this feminine
side of your father though supressed for many years is what makes
him the person you love. Crossdressing is noones fault and the tendacy
to be CD is often Inborn.
Be supportive as you can. Besides, now you have more possibilities
for him for Christmas.
I do have a support forum on my site for family's and Significant
Others on my site. http://www.lauras-playground.com/index.htm as
well as a chat room.
Good luck to you and your family. Write again if you have questions.
I should have replied before, but life gets in the way. I'm so gald
you were able to point out the obvious to me when I was in a bit
of shock. The whole thing seems so silly now. My dad didn't change
who he is, he just shared more of who he is. That is the most intimate
gesture one can do. It has been a wonderful journey getting to know
a new side of him. My mother still struggles, but is learning to
deal. My brother is angry and I don't know if he will ever be able
to deal. It is the most unfortunate, as he is missing the last years
of my fathers life.
Anyway, I thought of your insiteful words while picking out a beautiful
scarf for my dad this evening. I have not had the opportunity the
see him, in the new duds, (I live several states away) but my sis
tells me he is beautiful. He often tells me what he's wearing and
I know he feels happy, beautiful and at home with himself. I'm glad
he told me, happy that he felt he didn't need to hide anymore and
love him more for being honest.
Thanks for being so helpful. I have surfed your site and learned
much. Feel free to share all or parts of my e-mails with anyone
who may benefit. I appreciate your candid information and tact.
Life is a wonderful journey just open your eyes.
Thank you for your follow up letter
Time has a way of healing everything. Once
your father was able to be himself she blossomed forth. Now step
back and watch the wonderful fireworks put on their awesome show.
Supressing one's self is a depressing way
to go. When we finally break free of our bonds we find a
new world of possibilities at our feet. Only by being our
"True Selves" can
we live up to our potential to be all we can be. The benefits will
spill out and bless everyone around your father including his loved